As my teacher says, “Pain + Failure = Learning.”
Took a Knife Defense Class…
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The ‘ZMB’ stands for Zombie
The other day my Krav Maga teacher said, “Don’t retreat! It didn’t work for the Japanese and it won’t work for you.”
I think he’d be proud of my Zombie gun!
Boundary Issues
Heard a 10-year-old boy outside scream, “You have some SERIOUS boundary issues!” Not sure if he’s ridiculously mature, or does ridiculous amounts of therapy.
Observation
A dog is like a child, but a cat is like a houseplant with benefits.
Babies
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Every kid that I don’t kill kills me.
Bathroom door
I knew the outside of the bathroom would still be the lobby, but after reading the sign I was concerned I’d open the door to another dimension.
Hopefully this has saved the company millions on door repairs.
Tylenol
I like that we have labels telling people to read labels – Tylenol Caps Will Bear Warnings To Curb Fatal Overdoses
Lost at The Arcade
At first glance it looks like you won 500 tickets, right?
Wrong! You won 4. Notice the yellow arrow is pointed on the green, not the purple.
Had lots of fun at the arcade, but was not impressed by their wheel.
As Adam Carolla might say: “This is why the terrorists hate us. They imagine us having conversations like this.”
Albert Einstein
My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
“We thought TV had such great promise… We thought everybody would be an Albert Einstein…” – My dad (while watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding)
Death
Flickr – JD Hancock
Apparently 12 year-olds on Yahoo forums have more emotional maturity than I do. Continue reading
