A male friend of mine saw this store at the mall and thought they sold computers. ;-)
Edit: Showed this blog to another male friend… he replied, “I didn’t know Macintosh sold make-up!”
Mac Store
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Kitten, Stop Stealing My Caps
I kept losing the caps to my water bottles and thinking I was nuts! Turns out the kitten was hiding them. Here is his collection.
Editor’s Note: This isn’t exactly in the water bowl, but I thought it was an honorable mention.
Reasons to Own a Guard Duck
Took this pic at Pike Place Market in Seattle.
Cougar Mountain Adventure: Part 1
Every year Seattle and Portland host an amateur-produced film festival called Hump! The films are mostly created by locals competing in categories including Best Humor, Best Sex, Best Kink, and Best in Show. Afterwards all the films are destroyed, so you can “be a porn star for a weekend—not for life!”
I’m happy to say that the first and only time I’ve ever assisted at filming a porn did not involve me being a fluffer. It wasn’t a “porn-porn,” it was more like a comedy about two dashing 20 year old boys who go on an adventure to Cougar Mountain in Issaquah. I won’t give away too much, but I will say they have a kerfuffle between some “cougars” hell-bent on turning those boys into men. I volunteered to be a Production Assistant aka Super Cute Bouncer who could keep hikers off the set and preserve their purity.
I’m a horrible liar, so I started prepping our story in advance: “Hey, right now we’re filming a documentary about cougars. If possible, would you mind turning around and taking another trail?… What are we doing? Uhh… we’re having a picnic! Yes, we do need that blanket in the bushes, it helps keep the bugs away… Why, I thought everyone wore mini-dresses and heels to a picnic, don’t you?”
We got to filming and I witnessed one of the surprisingly most impressive things I’ve ever seen in a porn: A woman accidentally stepping on a slug with her bare feet and remaining in sexy, seductive character. We headed back to the picnic table and, to our dismay, as soon as we sat down we were greeted by the Park Ranger. Were we “screwed” so-to-speak? Or did he decide he wanted in on a piece of the action?
Stay tuned to Part 2…
Yeah, I Know, Another Picture of My Cat
He was SLEEPING like this… in what universe is that comfortable!?
World’s Creepiest Bathroom
Took this photo to demonstrate what happens when mankind resorts to gender-neutral bathrooms.
To the designer’s credit, I guess it’s good the archangel wasn’t facing toward the LifeStyles and Rough Riders.
Safeway
I just noticed that at Safeway they stock their feminine care products in the same aisle as their cleaning products. Granted, I needed more dish washing detergent so it saved me some time, but there’s *no* way they could have known that!
More Pearls of Wisdom From My Krav Maga Teacher
“I don’t want to say too much because we have young impressionable minds here, but cheat! If you find yourself in a fair fight your tactics suck! Always cheat. Always win.” – Krav Maga Teacher
As a side note, he’s actually one of the nicest men on the planet.
Neg Me Baby, I’m Insecure
I had a “life experience” when I was 19 that I’ll never forget.
I was at some kind of hippy event where the speaker told us to hug the person next to us.
“It will be fun!” they said. “It will be safe!” they said.
While hugging the guy next to me he decided kiss me on the cheek and said – in what he meant to be a seductive tone – that I reminded him of a “bratty little sister.”
My mind started racing: “Huh? You want to bang your sister? I feel sorry for me, but I feel worse for your sister! Does she know? Do your parents know? What’s Christmas like for your family?”
While relaying this story the other day, I became informed that one way to “neg” a woman you like is to tell her she reminds you of a “bratty little sister.” Therefore, since this guy knew a “negging” technique, this meant he was studying how to be a PUA (Pick Up Artist).
Confused? So was I. Let me explain…
There are women who read Cosmo, despite the fact that they’ve had a year subscription where each issue promises something not-clever like “87 ways to blow his brain… and his cock!” In actuality, you open up the magazine and find advice like…
In the same way women have Cosmo, men have PUA so they can learn 87 ways to make bad decisions.
If you study PUA you’ll learn a technique called “negging,” which is insulting a chick so she feels insecure in hopes that her wild insecurity will drive her to take off off her pants in order to impress you. One form of “negging” is to tell a woman she reminds you of a “bratty little sister.” She’ll feel bad about being in the ‘sister category,’ and supposedly will feel driven to put herself in the ‘sexy category.’
Aha!
Mr. Enumclaw
This whole time I thought this dude wanted to bang his sister! Maybe it’s because I grew up in a small town located near the Enumclaw Horse-Fucker (One might say he should’ve stopped “horsing around”… Ha Ha Ha).
It didn’t even register that this was a pick-up line. And for some reason, knowing that it was just a line feels comforting. I would never want anyone (no, not even my husband) to look at me like the EHF on the left looked at that horse…
Granted, from what I know about PUA, I agree with the deeper purpose behind it. It seems like PUA is actually about developing social skills, and getting closer to actually being that person women want to be around. I’m totally on board with that intention. I’m also on board behind Cosmo’s mission statement, which talks about inspiring “millions of fun, fearless females who want to be the best they can be in every area of their lives.” I would just humbly suggest that, if possible, we lay off the incest and glazed donut props while expressing affection.
P.S. For your very own PUA shirt check out my store on Zazzle. As of today I have a total of 1 things for sale.
Fashion
The problem with “cool fashion” and “fashion faux pas” is that they pretty much mean the same thing… Unless you have to ask. Then it’s a faux pas.
